Apr
2
Funnies
April 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment
You can’t be serious
Thought I would find some interesting information and all I can say is “You can’t be serious”
Sex Dictionary
angry dragon - n.
Ejaculating in someone’s mouth and then hitting them in the back of the head, forcing the cum out of their nose so that they look like an angry dragon breathing fire.
cock snot - n.
Humorous term for semen
donkey punch - n.
Having anal sex with someone and punching them in the back of the head to make them pass out. Said to induce a clenching of the anal sphincter in the unconscious person.
facesitting - n.
A fetish practice where a woman sits on a man’s face, smothering him.
gorilla salad - n.
Pubic hair.
smurf - v.
Slapping someone in the face with your penis
Laws
In London, it’s illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle.
In China, women are prohibited from walking around a hotel room in the nude. A woman may be naked only while in the bathroom.
In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish.
It is illegal for any member of the Nevada legislature to conduct official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session.
In Ventura County,
An ordinance in Newcastle,
InConnorsville,
|
Facts
A man will ejaculate approximately 18 quarts of semen, containing half a trillion sperm, in his lifetime.
Bumper stickers
How do you confuse a wanker? 37
I tried sniffing Coke once. The ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
I’m out of estrogen and I’ve got a gun.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
I brake for fairys, elves, gnomes, the toothfairy, the easter bunny, santa and other little creatures that only I can see
I’m not a bitch, I am THE bitch!
What’s the ultimate in rejection? When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Funny ideas and quotes
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you’ll be right.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its ass.”
How do you confuse a wanker? 37
I tried sniffing Coke once. The ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
I’m out of estrogen and I’ve got a gun.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
I brake for fairys, elves, gnomes, the toothfairy, the easter bunny, santa and other little creatures that only I can see
I’m not a bitch, I am THE bitch!
What’s the ultimate in rejection? When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Funny ideas and quotes
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you’ll be right.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its ass.”
I’m out of estrogen and I’ve got a gun.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
I brake for fairys, elves, gnomes, the toothfairy, the easter bunny, santa and other little creatures that only I can see
I’m not a bitch, I am THE bitch!
What’s the ultimate in rejection? When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Funny ideas and quotes
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you’ll be right.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its ass.”
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
I brake for fairys, elves, gnomes, the toothfairy, the easter bunny, santa and other little creatures that only I can see
I’m not a bitch, I am THE bitch!
What’s the ultimate in rejection? When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Funny ideas and quotes
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you’ll be right.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its ass.”
I’m not a bitch, I am THE bitch!
What’s the ultimate in rejection? When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Funny ideas and quotes
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you’ll be right.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its ass.”
Funny ideas and quotes
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you’ll be right.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its ass.”
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you’ll be right.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its ass.”
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its ass.”
Mar
31
March 31, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Mar
31
The sun
March 31, 2008 | 2 Comments
The sun’s heat penetrates both my bare nipples, kisses my stomach
and caresses my thighs. The warmth turns to heat as the air circles
in and presses the zones of desires.
A shadow takes away the sun from my naked body and reveals a man;
deliciously ready to replace the sun’s heat. Spreading my legs, already
wet and warm, the invitation is apparent. His body covers mine; his lips
bless my neck with passion. Taking every inch deep inside of me, he is
still, hot, wet and fills me. The throbs of lust dive through my dancing
pleasures as I tingle through my whole body. Digging my hips into him
pushing him in harder and faster, I send the stimulating pulses my pussy
has on his cock, hugging the wet member he has placed within me. We
take intercourse to new levels with inflamed passion; our entire senses
get involved in partaking in this unbelievable union of hunger. With all juice
pouring in streams the orgasms insatiably send both bodies to ecstasy
Mar
31
Sinful Indulgence
March 31, 2008 | Leave a Comment
There is a little secret, you will have to be aware.
Taking little spaces to bring pleasure, I dare.
A little presence of passionate touch
I enjoy the erotic views very much
Allowing my desires to reach out
I show how pleasing it is without doubt
Feeling increased sensations to please
Melting in the moments with ease.
Riding waves of emotional bliss
Taking the sinfulness of this
Experience with me a delightful caress
Dance with me as we undress
Carry my dreams into real seasons
Pulsing reaction with sinful reasons
Indulgence of pure pleasurable time
Climax builds and thrills climb
Intense shared minutes pass
Sight, sound, touch surpass
Enlightened storming lust and desire
Releases the sinful seduction higher
Mar
31
Laced Leather Erotica Cum visit
March 31, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Mar
25
Stimulation
March 25, 2008 | 1 Comment
Releasing my hunger, my mouth waters, I roll my tongue on my lips and bite my finger.
Only a few feet from me, he holds his cock in his hand, the wetness easing his strokes.
Hypnotized by his power to bring such pleasure to himself, my body weakens in overwhelming desire. I melt with his moans and increasing thrill. My thighs quiver and I feel the pulsing contractions inside me, lifting me into erotic drifts. Staring at his dripping cock, I can hear the moist strokes as they quicken. From the wanting sensations of my mouth straight down to my aroused wet lips, folding my legs to ease the frustration. My mind explodes in passion and suggestive thrusts sending me into an orgasm. Gushing in front of me I watch him cum and the room swims in sensual scents and the release of lust